I looked up at the innocent and unaware face of RJ, re-gripped my chicken, and slapped him across the face with as much force as I could possibly exert on him while maintaining character.

 

First, a step back.

 

It was the final performance of our school production of Once Upon A Mattress and I was bored. It was boring music, with boring humor, boring characters, creating an amazingly boring atmosphere. I managed to make it through almost the entire performance without giving into evil temptations that pop into actor’s heads on final days of performances. I had not screamed obscenities. I did not forget an important plot device and force a fellow actor to improvise. I did moon a fellow actor, but I was legitimately slapped for that, and it was behind us all. I was maintaining surprisingly good behavior for someone of my minimal maturity, but RJ had specifically told me to hit him harder, and I did not want to disobey an upperclassman. So my part came, and without warning, I slapped him so hard across the face that the sound of the impact echoed off the back wall and a supreme gasp was heard throughout the audience. My fellow characters however, lost it. Immediately laughter filled the room as I threw the chicken offstage in disgust and waited patiently for the next line to come. A pause.

 

Rule 1 in comedic performances: wait to say the next line until the audience’s laughter has reached its denouement or ceases completely

 

Unpause.  The laughter continued to grow, until it reached a dull roar that seemed to go on for about an hour. This was helped by the humorous fact that multiple of the actors themselves had broken character and the increasingly growing welt appearing on RJ’s face. On and on it went, and finally I looked up into the faces of the dreaded audience with a stern face, and giggled. Again the audience roared uncontrollably, and I noticed that with that minimal gesture and breaking of character, I had allowed the monstrosity of laughter to continue with a renaissance of force. Finally, more out of exasperation then anything else, the Queen screamed her line, and we moved on.